Fat Man Caving

 Day Five: I am pleased to report that thus far, this journey has been a success... in small bites. Because that's about all I can bring myself to stomach; small portions that come with some serious mental flags. Yes, I get hungry and yes, food still has appeal. But when one has a choice between an Oreo McFlurry and a can of green beans and the beans win the mental cage match, things are heading in the right direction without any directional intervention on my part. And it's been like this all week. And it's paid off.  On a whim, I went to my son's house this afternoon to use his scale (long story, um, yeah) and to my surprise, the display glowing between my toes echoed 311 pounds. That's a full ten pounds in five days and on-par with the kind of introductory results many diets bring dieters. But there is an important distinction here that needs to be made and its at the crux of willpower and body chemistry. I was once advised by a doctor that one can mathematically...

  Day One: Fractions of Food Starting weight: Three Hundred and Twenty One Pounds of fluffy cavenertastic old guy.  I took my first dose at 5:00 AM and immediately discovered the greatest challenge of modern medicine: Waiting 1800 seconds untill I consume any coffee. Today it was real Kona (not a blasted blend) coffee, which made those seconds seemed to snear at me oppressively from nowhere and everywhere in the predawn thickness of our dark bedroom.  I survived, obviously, and by 6:45, my stomach had begun making observations of its own. Not pain. Not nausea. More like my digestive tract had received a memo from management and was quietly reviewing the new policy just prior to ignoring it off-handedly. On most 'normal' days, somewhere around halfway to work, my internal hunger alarm goes off. Every day. Like clockwork, I think of a greasy hot, instant something to shove in my face and I will admit, it's almost always a keto-throwback move, like the heavy cream I still us...

G randfather Weight- L oss P lan v 1 .0 Let’s pivot. Yeah. This has never been a sponsored blog. It almost was, once , but that didn’t quite work out, and not for a lack of effort , mind you. So, I’m left with a new path to follow and while it feels sort of a lack-luster, trendy thing to do, I’ve decided to bring you all along for my no-nonsense guide to this Fat Man Caving’s experience with GLP-1 drugs. There will be no brand dropping or advice on navigating the wreck that is prescription medication laws, just a guide from day one on to the day I can fit back into those Dickies that my wife hates on me. Watch this again and tell me I'm not marching  off to a surprise copay just before the cemetery.  I know. I know. Somewhere in the distance, I can already hear the keyboards clacking, sms servers humming and the sigh-laden eye-rolling. "Weight-loss drugs are for suckers." "Just have some discipline." "Looks like somebody found the easy button...